does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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