I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
