Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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