dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
