can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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