You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Boobs are out for the taking
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
