just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
