so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
