I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Panties = found
You did what with his pubic hair?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
