yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
