Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
