Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
