Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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