these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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