So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
