I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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