i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
