she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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