Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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