So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
