Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
