We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
