How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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