I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
