she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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