I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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