He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
