hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
