and next time when you feel me up, do it right
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
