Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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