If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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