Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
where are you?
Hypothermia
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
