Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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