Little spoons don't ask big questions
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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