I wanna passion pit in your ass
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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