fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
