She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
