Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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