At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
