Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I need to calm my uterus...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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