I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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