i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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