are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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