Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
