We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
