if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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