Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize