Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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