I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
