I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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