Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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