So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The air taste purple.
Randomize
