At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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