I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Randomize