A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
