went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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