Its about making memories worth repressing
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
