Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
