Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You're like the curious george of whores
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
