all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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