so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
