they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
They have beer where we have blood.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
