i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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