I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
