Apparently you make a good broom.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
