Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
