He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
