We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize