Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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