Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
