So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Mom said you looked used
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
