dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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