the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize