But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
