Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
