Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
